top of page

Anthology 6 - The Time of the Dark Moon

moon.jpg

Poetry by Neil Wood

14 Swans

Hugging the edge of the wharf, they came.
Two on two on two on two.
Line astern as if drilled to it,
Silently floating with heaven's grace about them,
A small Armada of swans.  

 

Their regal heads on their snake necks
Impenetrable to the human mind seemed
Haughty disdainful even of the
Water above which they shone
Utterly white, against the grime gray water.  

 

As they slowed and gathered by some unfathomable sense.
Beneath the wharf children excitedly threw bread
Which they magisterially ignored
One swan bit another swan's neck.  

 

Two others broke ranks and headed
Out mid-stream two drops of white
Catching all the light.  

 

My mind searched their inscrutable heads
Their unseen and unknowing eyes
Searched their beauty
for some sense of a beating heart within
But found nothing. 

A Chatham Hymn

Sea shanty- town of
Waltzing Matilda freedom.
Raw to the sea,
Salt to the wound
Of History.  

 

A history steeped deep tidal blue,
With marching bands
From Napoleonic lands repelled.  

 

"To the shore lads
to the shore,
full Capston strength
to the shore."  

 

The rusted chain of command,
buried soul- deep to the core, remains,
Awaiting the call of Country.  

 

Embedded in hand and eye and memory,
Gun turret cold yet ready to be warmed.  

 

"And we're braced to the wind boys,
Braced to the wind,
Full sail to the cresting wave"  

 

And its sea sound and the salt wave
And the rawness of the wind.  

 

And its cannon fire and the hawsers wail and
haunting cry of history, that we strain to hear
and see in Chatham, naval town.

A Dancing Song

A dancing song with a heavy beat
trickling down to your dancing feet.
To sing and dance and kiss the sun
and end the day with a hot crossed bun !  

 

Could those lines be very much worse?
I think 'Poets?' who write this kind of verse
Should be outlawed flayed and then soundly thrashed
So that their bones shiver then crash
leaving them tired on the edge of their lives
The versemakers cosmogrifrygenocide  

 

They should be put on toast with tartar sauce
and then with all haste and residual force
an end should be put to all of their species
they should be forced to eat their own slimy faeces!  

 

And if this doesn't seem to stop the rot
they should be gagged and bound and then finally shot.

A Definite Summer Breeze

A definite summer breeze,
carrying still
A remembrance of the winter's
chill.  

 

November's bite and edge,
Wrapped in light spring clothing.
A freshness.  

 

The blue softly remembered
The yellow a welcome guest
The white softly torn across the
sky.  

 

No pillow here or there.
No welcoming womb like
softness.
It must be soft in there?
Mustn't it?  

 

What will the summer bring?
And what will remain of my old
life
When it has gone?  

 

Throw a hook into the life to be
And haul it the shore
Mop your brow and dry your
tears,
Dream as you never have before. 

Autumnal October

07

Many bright blue boats bounce upon the River Medway
clipped by the late autumnal wind that ripples
the flat calm water.  

 

The mud brown banks are muddily brown
and a Sea weeded, reed clustered home, to traffic cones and
car tyres and the seagulls that wheel across the sky.  

 

The Castles ancient battlements command the heights
And the Cathedral sits a stuffy stone admonishment.  

 

‘The hollowness of faith a fading echo ’
Hell fire and damnation !  

 

The squat arched Victorian bridge completes the graceless
triumvirate and anchors the sight gloomily.  

 

Like so many other unceasingly dull English towns
Stretched thin across the years, stuck in some quaint notion
of the past, with one hand grasping clumsily at the future, the
other reaching back, back into the vast weight of years.  

 

For what?

 

The stink of History. 

Bank Holiday Morrisons

Rag tag and battered bobtail!
What an ugly and squalid little episode.  

 

A hugely forearmed-tattooed father
with desperate daughters crying and looking up adoringly saying
'Daddy daddy this is what I want for my
birthday' whilst struggling to hold,
so it could be seen, a nightmarish yellow cake faced cake.  

 

And peripherally attached a sullen one armed sallow faced mother,
staring and scowling accusingly ahead.
prompting me to say in my head.
'It's not my fault you lost your arm luv'
or at least the arm up to the stubby- elbow- end,
with a worm like piece of flesh dangling.

 

It was bank holiday scramble with squalling kids
and parents with raggy arsed jeans
and garden shear haircuts and broken teeth and beer guts
swelling the gutteral throng.  

 

'I'm sure Italians don't dress like this'
Do they?  

 

'Alright Jim?'
'Yeah mate what about it? Haw haw!'  

 

There were at least three bleached blondes dressed in black
bustily bursting out of too tight tops
All jiggerly bobberly!  

 

Not that I was looking mind you!
There is a huge difference between
noticing and looking.
You know it's true.  

 

And the gap toothed check out girl
with thinning hair and ghost like pale blue eyes
was a topping filler.  

 

And me with my appetite gorged to the gunnels
Ran quickly to the exit with a barely contained scream

Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah  

 

I spin the world on my finger tips,
I flip it like a coin,
I balance it on forefinger and thumb
and peruse it casually,
as if it were an unexpected speck
of matter that has appeared on my
glorious form.  

 

I float it like a mote in sunlight
dancing there for my pleasure for my diversion.  

 

I flick it away like an unwanted fat meat fly
shitty little thing!  

 

Compendious and huge am I
a towering form reaching out to the deepest
parts of the vastness of all matter.  

 

I am all things and all things are me.
How could it possibly be otherwise?  

Cockroach Dreams

We were flying, huddled and parachuted,
Equipped and ready.
Deep chocolate and rust coloured ravines,
An alien landscape, loomed below.  

 

We were hunters, hunting those
who hunted the cockroach.  

 

A sudden field that had been aflame
Was verdantly green, yet scorched
With the blackened and malformed frames
Of horses melting into the earth.  

 

And then on all fours two beasts
With sharpened claws
Chaser, chased and chasing
over the ravenous ground.
Snarling, rapaciously, eyes ablaze
With hunger for the kill.  

 

Bursting to piss I head towards an Alice like
Door that shrinks before me to shoebox size.
Embarrassed I start around the other
Side of the bar to another door.  

 

But this time it yields to my touch
And opens magically ballooning in size
To reveal a Ferris wheel mechanism
With Pixie boots attached whirling as
Escalator steps onto which I climb.  

 

I'm swung aloft the town, as precariously,
I plant my feet astride a weird platform
Above a huge sewer pipe swirling below
The townsfolk scuttle and scamper
Below me as I piss a torrent of
Fire engine force, onto
The bleating people below.

 

And then I'm crouched in terror
ahead of a small group
jostling excitedly on a street corner.
The street lights strengthening
the creeping shadows.  

 

Music beats to pipe and drum as
Sweeping round the raking corner
Come the stilettoed, stockinged, yellow
Suited band of high stepping girls.
Twirling batons with fierce eyed intensity.  

 

The group behind me crumbles away
As I fall and tumble pirouetting through the air.

Dead Man

I have just spoken with a dead man...
His eyes were lifeless and blank
His face was still and unmoving
His jaw line was fixed like granite
and his mouth was a thin line of nothing.

​

His words were mechanically slow
Almost breathless, bestirring nothing.
There was no inflection, no sound to the sound.
It was vacant and empty as a handless glove.

​

I spoke into the void of
A dead dank pool of emotional rot.
Quietly festering and forgotten in the shadows.

​

Even as he moved
in his bubble wrapped world of quietude,
he was slow soundless ghostlike.
The movement betrayed not even the scent of a presence.
No not even that.

​

I shuddered in awe of who was charged
with breathing life into that breathless void.

Dust
'08

You cannot know just who I am
You cannot know just who I've been
I dedicate my life to sound
I place my feet on solid ground  

 

I'm floating on the open sea
Seagulls pecking at my eyes
I dissolve in open air
I am swallowed by your breath  

 

Run Run away x 4  

 

I start to panic on the phone
As I see you've turned to stone
I fling my arms about your neck
But I find that I'm alone  

 

I'm surrounded by the fire
And I'm burned by crimson flames
I am consumed without within
And in the haze I call your name  

 

Run Run etc  

 

I am six feet underground
Choking for my very breath
I'm reaching for the flaming sky
As I burn my may to death  

 

I am reaching for the sky
I am aching for your touch
Your caresses fill my brain
As we fall towards the dust  

 

Run etc  

 

Repeat first verse

Merry Christmas

The culture shock of an
Hermetically sealed wickedness.
We are unconscious of the tune we know.
The tune we dance to
Drummed out over the radio
An aural kosh
To knock us into submission.

​

The headlock that is Christmas
Binds us, lemming like,
As we career towards its
Crashing climax covered in
Tinsel and mince pie crumbs.

​

Smothered in the Grace and favour
Of religious mumbo jumbo
From some white smocked
Misogynist in a black dress.

​

And all the children sing
All Holy Holy Holy
Sacrificial lambs,
Suffer little children and forbid
them not to come unto me.

​

And the fat guy in the red suit
Like some Apostolic revelatory
Anti-Christ grins happily
"Ho Ho Ho !

Oh Boy

Such a profound sense of abject misery
and bone deep fatigue is on and in me.
I MUST be ill
Surely this is THE end.
The end of all things!  

 

I lumpenly place one heavy footstep
in front of the other
I ache and creak as I move
And my head wearied by thought
is killing me degree by tortured degree.  

 

And still there are presents to be bought
and wrapped and secreted about the place
and trees to be decorated
and cupboards to be groaningly filled
AND the spirit of the globe has to be uplifted...
Oh boy ! 

Please God

July 04

Please God,
Don't make me old and smelly
As times cruel wheel is turned.  

 

Don't make me frail,
And clothed in holes.
As death's jaws gape,
To swallow me whole.  

 

Don't bulge my belly so flabbily
So that it sits to kiss my thighs.  

 

Don't rot my teeth,
Don't seize my joints,
Nor block my ears,
Nor suck me dry of life.  

 

Don't cloud my eyes,
Nor dull my brain,
Nor stop the passage
To love or pain.  

 

Don't cheat me of
one second's breath
one sigh of trees
one shaft of light.  

 

And Lord, one favour, could I ask, a little?
Please don't make my willy shrivel.  

Poppy Day

A blood red badge of Remembrance is offered up to me but...
Remembrance of what and to what end?
Remembrance of sacrifice? No question.
Remembrance of courage? Beyond measure.
Remembrance of devotion to duty? Absolutely.
But Glory?
We honour the glorious dead?
We lace their memory, their shrouds, their countless graves
Their life's blood, their selfless sacrifice
With that word? And Why?
Is it glorious to die in battle?
Is it even possible that it could be so?
Some gut wrenching horror of torn flesh and shattered limbs.
Some grim and gritty horror is the truth.
Human failure the reailty.
A failure by those who purport to protect and to serve.
We are unthinkingly hoodwinked by metaphor and the sophistry of language.
Duped into accepting WAR.
Duped into believing that such meaningless sacrifice is necessary.
We buy poppies to succour those who have 'fallen'
A convenient sop to the reality of hard questions
and the true horror of WAR
buy a Poppy and that's your duty done?
Your responsibility discharged?
I think not.
We need to question the lie of Good V Evil
The lie of Us V Them
The lie of the treachery and wickedness of the human heart.
Lift the veil and look beyond the call to Arms.
Look beyond religion and the blindness of faith.
Look beyond the shallow Nation State to a greater truth.
And see the Love that lies within for each and every one of us.
Even those we hate.

Poppy Wise

The blood red slaughter of innocence and a gnarled
And thorny tree clinging onto life,
Beside the Creek, paused us.
Paused me poppy wise.  

 

A smattering caught my teary eye, caught my conscience,
Ripped me to a bloody head scene.
Shattered limbs and gore,
Ripped from me a heart-breaking sigh of regret.
A sigh filled with the forlorn hope of better things.
Ripped from me a rib crushing despair at man's cruelty
And the shame of his sometimes wilful ignorance?  

 

'Baa Baa black sheep follow any fool
Yes sir yes sir three bags full'  

 

It was all of a moment and a Creek kissed wind
Filling my nostrils lifted me back to blue skies and
A besmirched hope clingingly restored. 

Rat Raced

The Advent Poems – 18th December

My whiskers are twitching

My dust sensitive nose flickers

Sensitively flexing,

Nervous, anxious fretful.

​

On your marks 7 days to, get set, GO!

Go on the 'B' of bang said Linford

AND pick up all of the pieces.

​

No No No !

ALL the pieces FOOL

For the day of the LORD'S

Birth is upon us !

​

And we know the date is wrong

And we know that it was once a Pagan festival

And we know that what we have now

is SO different.

​

A big fat guy in a red suit

with a ghoulish grin which passes for a smile

and tinsel and flashing lights and a jewel bedecked tree

and the slaughtered bird and the fatted calf

and God help us ?

Recount

May 2015

I recount a tale and sadly a sorrowed tale of woe.
With heavy heads bobbing to and fro
nodding left nodding right
seeking balance in this fight
seeking, slipping, sleeping, then failing.  

 

I recount a hope, so sadly crushed, that man
Would join with man as a brother.
Not as a slave, nor as a master
Not as a Lord nor a subject too, their will
be done, as it is in heaven.  

 

God save our gracious Queen?
God save her high ness
God save those lofty realms that only she inhabits
God save her regal royal ness
reigning supremely over us from her lofty high-ness.
Over our low ness her base subjects
Grovelling genuflecting in servility.
Blue Blood? Bollocks !
Her Hands in the public purse
Maundy money recompence?
Grovel and kneel and stand in line before her? I think not.  

 

I recount a sense of justice lost
A sense of freedom tightly bound
to what is and what must remain.
Held in their hands.
And at our throats!

 

An X marks the spot of our demise
A dumb act repaid in kind.
I demand no recount,
No ballot box banditry.
Wrap up the failed and failing state
And tread that path no more. 

Shrinkage

Shrink yourself down to the hindermost part
Clutter up your way with Do’s and don’ts
Ought’s and shoulds and self -destructive doubt.
Shrink shrink shrink and slink away.  

 

Comfort yourself with naught
With the shadows of all you could be
Feed the hungry all- consuming heart on scraps
Shrink it keep it quiet keep it lonely and in the dark
Keep it distant so that the wailing is
Just a distant roar
A quiet reminder of all you could be.
A shoulder shrug of a quiet deathly resignation.  

 

It’s only life ! It’s only this moment and yes yes
This moment is all that we have.
Shhh! shhh ! Quiet now.
Say nothing. Nowt !
Not even boo to a goose. 

Suck It Dry

Obesity abounds in this shit horrid town.
As I drive, I see a huge tub of a man
swinging his way down Chatham Hill.
His arms balletically betraying an inner bounce.  

 

He is dressed in a washed out
grey-black singlet and shorts.
With marathon shy trainers.

 

 It must be the flesh that keeps him warm
on this cool October Morn.
I bless his mirror kissing self,
All bloated ego and what the hellism
as he strides with Oliver Hardy grace,
at a Hurdy Gurdy pace barrelling down the hill.  

 

Others whip themselves thin.
Tortured by a twisted Hollywood self - image,
A hoped for vision of loveliness,
all shimmering elusivity across the silver screen  

 

Life is but a scintilla of a dewdrop
caught in the blazing sun.
Better suck it dry before you're done.

Staying Down

I was toying disconsolately with the badly cut,
sad-grey trousers on the rack-at the back,
of Debenhams.  

 

Catching my eye,
two women rushed past from out of the changing rooms.
"Look out!" said one "He's gonna blow!"
and their pace quickened with
sudden short stacatto steps.  

 

I followed fifteen metres in their wake,
drawn by the urgency of the women
and their drill-eyed intent,
passed the racks of drab clothes
to the front of the store  

 

Arriving, I heard a stifled cry
And looking through hooded eyes
I caught a flurry of arms and legs
as they tumbled and bundled a large man to the floor.  

 

One of the women sat on his chest,
another was splayed across his legs.
A security guard pinned an arm.
Hands covered his face.  

 

"Let me up "he mumbled pathetically through fingers.
"NO!" one of the women bellowed.
"YOU'RE STAYING DOWN!"  The man stayed down, though he
kicked and struggled like an angry child,
all the time mumbling,
his chest heaving,
his shoulders thrusting,
his legs trying to thrash.  

 

I stood by dumbstruck
bemused like the other shoppers,
who gawped and drank in the scene,
all of us wondering why the women
pinned him so furiously.  

 

You're staying down!" they cried
and he did.

Step Ball Change

It is the word and only the word that matters.
It is the word and only the word that remains
Deeds fall away and confession, is good for the soul (so some say)
I couldn’t possibly comment.  

 

Original sin original sin you were born in sin and you are all sinners
You sin we sin they sin we are all sinners.
Step ball change step ball change
In the beginning was the word and the word was….  

 

The word divides and subjugates and language rules us all.
It frames our thoughts, dictates our world
Spins and trips and foxes us, as our tongues are twisted
By unconscious thoughts and processes. We fly from
thought to deed, an uncontrollable wrecking ball scenario.
These words turn our heads and can shock the fuck fuck fuck out of us.
See?
‘It’s only words and words are all I have’
Step ball change step ball change  

 

And yet the process is reductive
It is an accumulation of breath and experience and of a Skittering, barely perceptible, in the psyche.
There is activity before thought arises but we know it not.
We are a summation of sound
We are of that indivisible stream of shapelessness
That is held together by words
As I speak the words reverberate spinning in your ears
And thru your heads to your hearts.
Step ball change step ball change step ball change  

 

Desperately we are geared to have to make sense
What does he mean? What do they mean? What did she say?
I falter and stumble murmur shout and scream
Falling on the knife blade of all I mean to say
I shape you and me in this and every moment.
And every moment is thus.  

 

The sense we have the sense we make together
Clinical Psychologists (highly trained dogs) will say
‘The sense I have is this…to make clear
that their understanding is entirely their own.
We agree the terms but stumble blindly at the meaning.
For from utterance to consequence can be but a hairs breadth Step ball change step ball change  

 

This is the mask of all masks
The me that is me that you don’t see
The you that is you that no one maybe not even you will ever know
Words are what bring consciousness into being
and yet they shield us from ourselves.
And Free will lost is in the morass of the words we hear.
Step ball change step ball change.  

 

Is this now incomplete?

The Call of the Raven

Dan came in from outside blowing hard into his hands, he glanced guiltily up into Kate's face.  

 

"You haven't done it have you?" she asked, already knowing the answer, sensing an advantage.
"I couldn't." he was unused to such horror.
"Oh come now," she mocked "the deeds half done half undone and you with it, is your mettle melted by such a little heat?"  

 

She studied him smiling playfully, like a cat. The sense of power strengthened her so she pushed him shoving him back out into the garden, surprised at her own strength and resolve. When they returned Dan had still not recovered.

 

 "So stiff and heavy..." he paused taking gulps of air.
"What have we done?" he looked into Kate's eyes. She looked back without a flicker. His mind raced back, video-like, on rewind, his head full of horrible pictures which he tried to push away. The sickening sounds of crunching bone and searing flesh, the way the fingers had clawed so desperately, all swam in and out of his mind. He shuddered involuntarily, supporting himself, arms thrust out on the large dining room table.  

 

"It's what you wanted" Kate said "It was how we planned it, just how did you imagine it would be?"
"Easier" he mumbled, his mind still struggling with the pictures. "Easier... cleaner…"  

 

Kate laughed horribly, Dan looked up quickly and for the first time saw the panic in her eyes.  

 

"It was easy and clean, like the opening and closing of a door, give yourself a shake Dan." Angry contempt crept into the edge of her voice, she pulled back momentarily but then plunged on. "Who is this lame sick child?" she demanded walking round to look him in the face. Where is your manhood? Where is that masculine power? Hmm?"  

 

Her voice took on a mocking tone as she pushed her hand gently into the long hair at the back of his head. She knew it aroused him. Her other hand ran quickly and lightly across his buttocks running between his legs. She felt him respond.  

 

"Has your manhood completely deserted you?" She breathed in his ear. "You bragged of the deed before tonight, where is that courage now lover? Is the act so very different from the wishing of it?"  

 

"All right all right!" he shouted stung by her words, he found some strength and waved his blood smeared hands in her face "This is his... he faltered. "Who'd have thought there'd be so much blood in him."  

 

Dan's head sank to his chest he was breathing deeply as if in a sleep. Kate watched archly. He was struggling to find something he had lost and when at last he looked up his smile had returned.  

 

"There's my boy" She pulled him to her, pressing her breasts into his chest kissing him hungrily as if she'd suck the soul out of him, he kissed back. She pulled away biting at his neck, his anger welled up and he tried to bite back but she rocked away rubbing herself against him, as she arched back he bit her hard, she felt at her neck, the purple welt quickly rising to the surface. She looked up at him he looked down at her half empowered half enthralled.

 

 "Ouch! she said. The mocking tone still in her voice such big teeth Grandma".

 

 She drew him closer still breathing in his ear.
"Come on hard man I know your hard already, let me eat you"

 

Her hands reached down to his crotch quickly releasing the swelling flesh of his erection. He tried to bite her again but he was distracted. His breath quickened as he hardened in spite of himself. She worked the prepuce back, licking the tip, one hand cupping the balls the other moving rhythmically up and down the shaft. He tried to grab her head but the sensation was too great, she swallowed him sucking and pulling, he began to thrust but she twisted away pulling more quickly as he began to quiver, shuddering and jolting to a climax, shooting in two or three quick spurts into her already waiting hands. She caught it all and as he finished exultantly she smeared him with it across his face and down his shirt.  

 

"You bitch" he spluttered swinging at her, but she knew it was coming and sat back on the floor her head flopping girlishly to the side, she was laughing, scared of him and of herself.
"Didn't you enjoy that darling ?"  

 

He stared down at her not knowing what to do or say, he wanted to mash her face in the heel of his hand, but the enervation of his release calmed him.

 

 "Yes I did" He heard himself say his old composure returning, he half smiled one corner of his mouth lifting. "I'll get cleaned up" he said walking to the bathroom. Kate watched him go still sitting on the floor. Her mind swam back and forth across the recent past, struggling to understand, to find her old sense of balance, she had changed she was certain of that, but it was her only certainty. She had since meeting Daniel experienced a passion she could not contain. As she filtered through the memories her life had become like that of a woman she didn't know save that she knew it was her; like a terrible twin who'd emerged from a dark past, an uncontrolled and dangerous twin who was reckless and powerful, a power that exhilarated and frightened her. She felt compelled to continue the white knuckle ride that was her love for Daniel.  

 

She was very edgy when he returned, she moved towards him but he pushed her aside and began to walk out of the room, she grabbed his arm.  

 

"Tell me how it will be?" she asked her voice soft and pleading.
"We've done all that"

 

Daniel said his mouth twisting sourly. "What do you want to hear all that again for? I’ve said it too many times"
"I know you have but please?"  Daniel looked straight through her before turning and walking out into the lobby, pulling on his long overcoat and quietly closing the door on her frightened face. He grinned broadly as he walked to the car.  "Daniel" she called to the closing door her voice swallowed by the darkness on the stairs, she looked round and the shadows seemed unfamiliar larger, darker.
"Daniel" she shouted her voice drowned by the sound of the engine, she reached for the door but paused as she heard the gravel crunching and spitting from under the angry wheels. She wanted to run and scream after him but she just stood helplessly by the open door, glimpsing the sharp profile as he gunned the car out onto the road.  

 

Neither of them gave a thought to the grim body at the bottom of the garden, neither of them knew of the heavy clay lying just beneath the luxuriant top soil, neither was aware of just how much blood one body contained, nor how the clay and the alignment of the body meant that the only place for the blood to run was to the surface.  

 

Kate washed her hands in the bathroom, decided on a shower and finally fell exhausted into bed just after 2.00 a.m. Her dream drenched sleep saw Daniel falling under the wheels of her car as she drove without mercy across his throat, his arms clutched at her as she writhed unknowingly in the bed, the face turning bloodily into that of her husband. She sprang awake again as she had done three times already, to the imagined sound of him coming late into the house, as he'd always done, only to realise in some half unconscious way that she was probably dreaming. She fell more deeply back into sleep knowing with a chilled finality the reality of what she'd done, her vivid dreams convulsing her across the bed, the darkness the only witness to her silent struggles.  

 

She awoke in the dread of a cold shivering sweat, the quilt lay on the floor and she shook, as she looked with raw heavy eyes at the sun streaking purple welts across the grey dawn. She pulled the quilt up about her and balled up child-like but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get warm. She finally wrenched herself heavily out and moved in a disconnected way down to breakfast. As she ate she tasted nothing her dry mouth unaffected by the amount she drank. She checked the clock and noticed that she'd managed a few hours. She looked through the kitchen window as a startling black wing swept across the frame, she got up quickly perplexed and disturbed by what she thought she'd seen, she pushed away the image but moments later there was another black wing and a raucous cawing started, just one strident cry initially becoming a persistent chorus rising insistently from the bottom of the garden. She felt suddenly sick and pushed her food aside. The cries increased in number and volume as Kate pressed her hands into her ears to block out the noise but she only heard it more clearly. She stumbled out into the garden and to her utter despair fifteen or twenty Ravens as black as death itself were hanging in the trees above the spot where her husbands body lay. They wrenched up their cries wheeling jaggedly across the sky. Kate was struck dumb, the blood drained from her face as she watched the bizarre scene unfolding. She scanned the skyline for any other clue as to what had drawn the monstrous birds to the garden. At first she could do nothing but watch mesmerised by the strangeness of their behaviour trying to find some other reason for their presence and their loud heralding of her black and bloody deed.  

 

"Murder! Murder! Murder!" they seemed to screech out into the now bright blue morning, into Kate's head, into her heart. She looked down for something to throw and it was then that she saw the blood oozing, an ebony beak digging and lost control completely.  

 

Dan arrived to the strange sounds, letting himself in he knew that the sounds were coming from the garden he paused and listened as the sounds doubled in their strangeness as Kate's voice wailed nightmarishly with them. He burst through the house in a panic clattering through the kitchen and out into the garden to see Kate still in her night-dress, screaming back and forth, her naked feet blackened by the lawn, as she ran arms waving crazily, scratching at the sky and at the Ravens.  

 

"Murder! Murder! "The sound cracked the sky and echoed off the adjoining houses as Kate scrabbled up earth and stones flinging them into the trees adding to the confusion.  

 

"Kate!" Daniel called hopelessly "Kaaate!" he strained his throat but all she could hear was the Ravens. He strode to the shed and opened the door, his untutored hands lifting down the shotgun he knew was there. He fumbled in some shells and clicking shut the twin barrels he stepped back out into the garden.  

 

He did not expect to stumble on the now familiar path, but he did, he did not expect to have to grab at the shotgun as it twisted awkwardly in his hands but he did. His fingers touched the trigger unknowingly and he did not expect the recoil as the gun shook terribly in his hands. The shell ricocheted, wildly cannoning off the concrete path. He could not have expected; as Kate turned hearing the noise, that the shell would careen into her lovely face, but it did. The left eye and forehead were ripped away as if by invisible fingers, flesh flying, brains spilling. She slumped to the floor her head lolling to the side as she fell heavily backwards.  

 

The Ravens were silenced. They lifted their black arms and flapped silently away as the noise from the shotgun echoed eerily. Dan's thin grasp of what was left of his composure deserted him. How? How could the trigger have been so sensitive? He whirled round looking for some other cause, some other explanation, some witness. His mind scrambled for an escape. "But I loved her! " he wailed silently. He spun the gun around to check the number of shells but the smell confirmed what he already knew, this gun had been discharged. Still he doubted "But how? how?" He touched the trigger and in the split second that was his last he knew.

The Darkening

September 12th ‘11

This town, all cramped ambition and
Low key thuggery, bustles belligerently.
I am choked. Spiritless. And defeated.
A mirror and a sponge.  

 

And the pulse of winter is in the trees
and hanging from their boughs is that stern teacher
Inky black and bat like and waiting.
Waiting to administer another harsh and unremitting lesson.  

 

When will the spark of life return ?
A light, a light to glimmer in this darkness that is
Surrounding and crowding and driving me in and down.  

 

Stubborn resistance is all I am left with
And a will, wavering and flitting like a spent
Autumn leaf in the wind. 

The fire bright street

October 08

The fire bright street was crushed with colour.
Elegant electric blue gowns
Swept magisterially by the
Silent expectant crowd.  

 

Eight feet tall and with inexplicable grace
The couple approached.
Colour span from their finger tips
And spilled out of their hands
The flower buttoned clothes
And flowing scarves bedazzled
the slack jawed youths, who greedily gawped.  

 

They centred the scene and
Pulled all eyes to them as
A low throbbing music started, with
Rich vibrant bass voices at their lowest register
“ And who are you indeed to charge
And who are you to charge indeed ?”
The Opera had begun. 

The Inner Ear and the Dancing Light

I gently pulled back your hair to discover a pearl white delicacy
sweet like sugar
innocent like a rose
a miracle of creation
like a baby's toes  

 

Such a balance to be struck
stick to the safety of the lonely shore line
or plunge into the depths of a love that's waiting?  

 

We tiptoe using our ears to balance
careful of the fall. 

The Lick of Flame

Last night in your eyes there swam
An ocean depth of time.
Ceaseless currents and swirling eddies
Flickered beneath the surface
Countless millennia stirred and shimmered
In the half light - half dark of our love.  

 

And a hawk like hunger was veiled in
The shadows, as passion stirred the whole.
The smoky limitless pools that
Are your eyes were smouldering,
Aching to be released,
yet fearful of discovery, they danced.  

 

I held you gazing in awe
At the beauty of your eyes
As the shifting light caught
Oh so briefly
Something so delicate
So precious
So rare.  

The Pillow

Aug 24th '11

Another day dawns with a soft grey wash
across the whole sky.
Uniformly pillow like
I may just rest my head
But Oh the Stretch!  

 

I could fly there jet propelled
but my engines cold
deeply iced and mournful
chilly as the grave.
Which is a fine and quiet place
Il moi amore  

 

So...
What else and what next sweet gentle rain?
Mirror of my unshed tears
Valance to my days and nights.
Cast off this nightly colour it is unseemly.
Though fitting, for now.
Tomorrow we go on. 

Say lady with the sad red lips

Un- dye your hair
Let the savage heart live

Sponge

Can time be lost?
Can it be found?
Like some shining pot of gold on a bleak horizon.
Can it be wasted?
Burning through sense-less fingers like fire.
Can it be saved?
Tipped round the post by an athletic youth,
insouciantly unaware of his feat.
Can it be held prisoner?
Locked in a vault,
All earthly movement stilled.  

 

I think not my friend.
Time creeps invisibly by
Supping sponge like, at the edge of life's pool,
Sucking our life's blood.  

 

And all the while Death -times Jackal-salivates hungrily in the shadows.
Ever-watchful.
He knows the hour and the day of our passing but is mute witness.
His flinty gimlet eyes, show nothing,
Only the inky depths.  

 

"Come "he calls as we hear of the death of others." Come"
We shiver safe in our beds,
Safe in the arms of a loved one,
Safe from the inky shadows
Safe from harm
Safe. 

The Velvet Glove and the Skewered Heart

August 2011

A tray of part made thoughts
constructed in another realm
cocooned and wrapped in ill conceived delights
delights not me.  

 

The velvet glove and the skewered heart of familiar comforts,
is a shattering shard of light that scorches as it shears.  

 

So much pain and hurt from so close a source
so close to the searching soul of man
Make mine a double, anaesthetise the wound.  

 

Make mine a bed of roses and a vision
beyond perception beyond proper things
beyond the razor's edge
beyond the reach  

Times Cruel Deceit

The day has run the night unto the dawn
Who sits atop the hills awash with grief.
Her lover like a thief has pricked with thorns
Their new found love and so she weeps.  

 

The fragile heart with tears so thickly shed
With double weight enshrouds the clouds with grey
And so each one deceives each two and threads
Times cruel deceit lost in the lovers play.  

 

Raw nature has the world so cruelly joined
Enwrapped enmeshed and trapped beyond all power
The human mind cannot untie what's bound
And in its thrall we dance our ragged hours.  

 

Till sobering day has settled all our hearts
'til night creeps in and then the dance restarts. 

To Bee or Not to Bee or The Death we choose.

July 04

It was a sunny-summers day, with a wintry
Bite to the cooling breeze.
All was silent,
All was still.
Save the passing cars and the rustle
Of papers in the cathedral-hush of the
Exam room.  

 

I stood, mind elsewhere,
When my eye lit upon a single
Bumble-bee, struggling its slippy way
Across the shiny sports hall floor.
"Poor wee beast." Thought I.
"I'll set it free!" But.
It recoiled bizarrely raising a tiny leg,
To ward off the well intentioned paper
That I set before it.  

 

AND THEN
It became stiller than the deadest thing.
"I've killed it." Thought I
"Was that its dying act?"
How strange to watch it die and
Catch its final tiny moments, on this monstrous globe.
It lay still.
Not even the tiniest flicker of life.
I checked.
Then checked.
And then checked again.
"Dead" Thought I...
"So dead."

 

I removed the paper and time moved sluggishly on.
I walked the hall- hands clasped-and returned...
Still dead.
Oh so very impossibly still and dead.
My nose sniffed the breeze and I ached, to escape,
The deadening room, my
Eyes scanning the rows of dulling desks.  And suddenly, an age after death, the bee moved!
The challenge rejoined.
Mr Jenkin-Jones unseeing, almost
Stepped (But for my shielding arm) on the bee. He
Maliciously made to crush it, hovering his foot evilly;
To my relief the bee was spared.
My room locked life returned.
Fraught thoughts to batter my brains
And sear my torturing soul.
A long while passed.  

 

And then, some instinct in a flash,
Turned my head and eye direct in focus,
To the heel of Mr Spicks, whose rising foot revealed?
The trodden bee! dropping from the rising tread!
And this time.
Oh yes, this time.
Oh yes.
Definitely, depressingly, very very dead.

To Rise Again Like the Tide

The lick of flame
From the torching sun
The liquid moon with
it's dance of light.
The cut of time, as
We fall,
To rise again
Like the tide.  

 

The touch of silk and
The perfumed rose
The sibilant swell
as the waters rise
The tongue of life
The cruel words lash.
And we fall,
To rise again
Like the tide.  

 

The dancing thought
And its dying breath
The pulsing core of
Our beating heart
this slender thread
'tween our rise and fall.
As we fall,
To rise again
Like the tide.  

 

The villain's bray
The braggart's stance
The Vicar's pious
Pointed dance
The bitter taste
Of a traitor's kiss
The wounded heart
Still seeking bliss
As we fall,
To rise again
Like the tide.  

Two Roads

Two roads bisected my path one much like the other
Though not the same, no not the same.
Two paths were of my choosing and each one called me on, whispering low.

 

 ‘Leave behind what’s left behind and come ‘
They beckoned each with a knowing glance and a weathered winking eye.
‘Come hither and follow for we have shown the truth to many
And none shall be left behind. None shall be left in the shadows
Not one shall be saved from the light.’  

 

They chimed almost with one voice but as I listened a sibilant rustling could be discerned
An unsettling presence detected but from which path?
My ears were sharp and yet I could not tell
The winnowing wind betrayed me
The shifting sedge no comfort and no guide the sun and moon silent only.
And that lonely silence was deafening.  

 

‘Tread softly’ came the voice ‘Tread wisely’ said another.
‘These paths do converge, but not yet. Oh no not yet.’ 

Visitation
July '07

I awoke in the dead still certainty of night.
No sound at the window and
Darkness my only companion.
Alone and hesitant
A stranger to the room I lay in.
Only a heavy country stillness lay with me
Stiflingly intense.

​

And then a sound, some kind of scratching or
A scrunching of footsteps on the gravelled drive…
My ears pricked and strained to sieve the sound.
At 4.29. a.m.?
The sound again more persistent, louder
Marking out a sequence, a pattern.
My head span trying to reel in some sense.

​

Then it was in the room, scratching behind my head,
It was creeping beneath the plaster.
I leapt out of bed
I plunged on the light
My heart thumping and turned drilling
My eyes to the wall
But there was nothing.
Stillness returned.

​

I climbed to my bed and I lay listening,
conscious of my heart beat
of the gathering cold, of the sound, again!
Scrunch scrunch scrunch…
some sense of movement not sounded
then scrunch scrunch …
Would someone knock at the door ?

​

I took my courage in my hands and padded out to the living room and
breathing deep drew back the bolts
and pulled wide the front door.
My eyes strained at the rising dawn
At the shimmering mist, at the awesome stillness
At the silence …there was nothing…

​

I shivered and shucked back into bed
My heart still thumping, my nerves stretched violin thin
I lay my head on the pillow carefully with deliberation
Fighting off lurid images
My mind set on a search for sleep.

​

And then my friend returned.
The footsteps, the steady scrunch scrunch scrunch.
It was closer again in the room
“ Go away !” I called but on he/she/it came
At my head ? ‘No!’
In the rafters?
Did those ancient beams hold some horrid re-enactment
That I could not see but only hear
I beat back horror driven thoughts
Of bones being ground by some
Malevolent creature some fiend from hell unleashed .

​

I held myself and squeezing out a softer tone said
“Can you stop making that noise and let me sleep? Please?”
I paused , waited.

​

And then slowly imperceptively the sound began to fade
My ghostly visitor was creeping back to realms unknown
slipping into the ether
And then… It was gone.
Silence…

​

All was calm again and
the soft warmth of the covers
Enveloped me and I slept.

Waiting

Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Waiting for that moment,
That dire and dreadful moment.
We are held in tortured silence, wracked
With life amidst death.
Tiptoeing tightly whilst... waiting.  

 

Who will and can speak?
Who can hear clearly, insightfully into
A lost mind, a lost soul, that
Teeters so on the edge of the eternal.  

 

We wait, hardly daring to breath
Fending off the wave of built up
Tears that also waits to break our hearts.
As it must.  

 

No comfort here, save ourselves.
No rescue possible
No sudden reversal of fortune.
Just the juddering certainty of that
Last breath, that we hold our own to hear. 

Who are You?

05/09

We are not one, we are many.
Though I myself, am by myself and of my own making.
The me that is me, is not me, when I am with you.
Then I become we.  

 

We are constrained by social mores and the roles and the games that we play.
I am also other.
And like Joseph's coat of many colours I have many shades and hues.  

 

So!
Who... are you?

bottom of page