Anthology 5 - Dance You Sinners
Poetry by Neil Wood
Kick My Arse
7th Jan 2015
Kick my arse whilst wearing shiny leather shoes,
Kick my arse whilst wearing thigh high slapping
Pirate's keks and boots 'Arhh me 'earties ang em high'
But kick my arse!
Kick my arse whilst wearing fashion victim Ugg boots
Softly brushing the anal hairs that shroud the exshit.
Kick my hairy yellow rear end Homer
Whilst wearing rugby boots
Bind on drive over make the balls available!
Kick my arse on a Sunday teatime with buttered scones
Or on any weekday evening....
I'm at work otherwise and therefore unavailable.
Kick my arse whilst pirouetting in ballet shoes
We'll do do in your tutu a soft shoe shuffle
To celebrate 'Armistice Day
the Philharmonic will play but the songs that they sing will be sad.'cite: 92]
Kick my arse 'cos it sits there being arsy, releasing gas.
Smirking broadly and sardonically at this ridiculous world.
Just kick it.
Kick my arse whilst wearing a nurse's uniform
And wielding surgical instruments.
Kick it go on kick it whilst slapping
freely the joy stick on the other side / My head from side to side.
Kick my arse for the world glories in violence as an answer to its problems.
Kick it 'cos you know it's right
Kick it 'cos it feels right
Kick it 'cos it feels empowering
Uplifting exhilarating and enervating
You would love it. You know you would.
Pervert!
Dance You Sinners Dance
'08 (After overhearing a chance remark)
The rude world doth quiver and shake;
Portentous and weighty, yet craving wisdom.
Amid the storm of events.
“Events dear boy events !”
says the wise old saw stroking his sable beard
“Dance you sinners dance!”
says the guy in the odd shaped hat.
The mighty globe she spins and whirls
And we struggle and strive
Amid the battering winds to seek shelter and solace.
“Any port in a storm”
says the wise old saw shaking and stroking his
sabled chin.
“Dance you sinners dance!”
says the guy in the odd shaped hat
whilst beating rhythmically on a tabor.
Slow and sure the universe unfolds.
Flung against the glimmering night
That backdrop of immensity at which
We gaze in awe as if struck dumb.
“Look ye at the power of HIS works!”
says the wise old saw his arms wide in exultation.
“Dance you sinners dance!”
says the guy in the odd shaped hat, with points and
bells all a jangle, whilst beating on a tabor and
moving to pipe and drum.
A Poem A Poem
A poem. A poem. I must write a poem.
I must be poetic
I must think and feel and breathe poetically.
I must throw myself to the floor in a faint
at the sight of the beauty of the world.
I must drink in the blue of the sky the shimmer of the moon
The touch of the wind.
I must capture the stars in the corner of my eye
Or Die! Die! Die !
Adirondaks
Let’s go flying to the Adirondaks
To the hills and vales of lower Nepal
Let’s go careening down a River
Let’s go climb a mountain tall
Let’s go mad, completely bonkers
Along the high street gag and spit
Let’s go climb the Eiffel tower
Piss on Paris smoke some shit
Let’s plumb the depths of the caves of Nirja
Get disembowelled on a Spanish plain
Let’s light a candle say some prayers
For all troubled and all the insane
Let’s go off the edge at Niagra
In a bucket down the mighty falls
Turn and tumble through the wetness
For the slippery slidey joy of it all
Nah !
Let’s just sit and watch some telly
While we watch our bellies grow
Tell the world it’s bloody silly
Just say No and No and No!
Poo
No Kew!
Dec 07
In this crazy, tip and tumble, upside down world.
Where cluttered streets and busy feet
Crowd the mind and cloy the soul,
Where diaries burst and schedules swirl
And no one knows just who is who,
No wonder no one went to Kew.
In this boiled up, hyped up over blown world.
With telephones- texts
And messages left, to clutter the rest
With specious junk
the tiny space left in our heads.
And still we don't know who is who.
No wonder no one went to Kew.
In this traffic jammed, train derailed,
leaves on the line world.
Where time spent, feels like time lost,
and time won, in the desperate race
is frittered needlessly
and we struggle to know just who is who
No wonder no one went to Kew.
Soundscape Blue
15/01/15
Poetry bores me. It curls me fecking toes
So many frantic wordsmiths, baring tortured souls.
So many strung out dreamers seeking their hearts truth
But blimey governor hold it and give it over, strewth!
Poetry she bores me I can barely read a word
And listening to it! Jump and skip is pretty much absurd
'I love you and don't you forget it
That makes 7 times that I said it
I love you and don't you forget it baby!'
I'll cut a vein. You bear your soul
And if nobody likes it well!
It's over buddy...so?
Poetry it slays me, so many fecking words
Them slippery little bustards whose meaning we all churn
And stab into our lonely hearts until they really burn.
And can words really do it express what lies within?
And once expressed what happens then?
Just chunk it in the bin!
Go on son you may as well and though the Muse may call
Every culture comes and goes and even Rome did fall.
And yet we strive us dun't we to find our truths we do!
Cos after all what else is there to ease away the blues?
And maybe one day we'll find true gold
A glitteringly jewelled truth
And go racing down the high street shouting 'Glory be and look!
And so my friends this soundscape ends
And what is it we have found? Mostly nothing, nothing mostly
naught and naught but sounds.
Adam n Eve n The Snake
Jan 09
The turmoil day unwinds its
Snake- like coils before me.
Is it really for the betterment of others
That I give myself so freely?
That I lay myself like a
Sacrificial lamb on the
Alter of Altruism.
Give me my share of guilt Oh Lord
and my full measure of shame.
Let me be first in the queue
The last to leave the store
Oh such bargains!
And
Why should a snake,
The embodiment of Biblical evil
Whisper so in the ear of Eve ?
Eating of the fruit of the tree of knowledge ?
An apple ?
An apple opened their eyes
To their own naked wickedness?
And yet we are made in His image
Are we not?
Is He so base or vile that He
Covers himself for shame ?
And before the apple incident
And before the slithering snake
And before we fell from Grace.
What happened when Adam got a boner anyway?
Dead End Joey
03
I'm a function of
a by product,
a cog in a machine.
A wheel that's turned and turning
By unseen means.
I'm genetically perfect,
Purposefully pure,
Adrift in a world
That's in search of a cure.
I'm a dead end Joey in
A cul-de-sac,
A back beating retro
On the outside track.
A thimbleful of acid
That's about to crack.
I'm straining at the buttons
Tugging on the leash
Hemmed in on all sides
And aching for release.
I'm a function of
A by product,
A cog in as machine
A wheel that's turned and turning
By unseen means.
Do you see
October 6, 2010
If you see here, the actual image is the mirror image of the image that you think you see
Do you see that?
Moments
A moment, or two
Or maybe three,
Stilled by this pen and these few words
The whole whirling world
Paused...
So...?
What next?
What will fill the space created
Because as we know
'Nature abhors a vacuum...'
Apparently...
You wouldn't think she'd take it so
Personally would you?
Fat Paul
If Fat Paul comes in you tell 'im
Me? Why me?
Well just b cause
Because what?
It'd be better coming from you
Yeah? And why's that then? You scared intcha
Well cos I am he fucking massive and nasty
Well you shouldn't have barred him then !
I had to?
Why?
The missus
Oh....
Besides getting his tackle out in the bar was the last straw !! He had the whole lot out for
all to see and my God worra wobbler he had !!
Yeah I know I was there y know...funny shape wannit?
He was celebrating he said that Leicester city mob set him off why not he said back to
basics he said being honest he said
Well he's never even been to Leicester, Bet he couldn't find it on a bleeding map!
Strordinary his er his todger y know pffft Missus came over all funny couldn't sleep a
wink kept tossing n turning grabbing y know at me in her sleep like
Y don't say
I do I do
Any way you tell im OK
Well yes OK if it's gotcha that turned around I aint scared takes more than 'im to rattle
my cage.....Oh alright Paul (Laughs) What'll be mate?
I write, you read or listen...
I write, you read or listen, that's the deal. A bargain we have struck together.
If you stop then goodbye my love goodbye
It was a trip !
A trip to somewhere, no- where, everywhere.
Roam my mind for free as I roam yours.
whizz bang fizz smoulder
word shift explode and mould 'yer'
making connections crossing intersections and leaping roadblocks along the way.
We'll jump this life to come, maybe?
'One small step for man
One giant leap for mankind'
We'll jump this life to lead another.
we'll lead the life we have and follow not that brother.
leave this lumpen life to find
Another mother brother another soul-less Godless other.
I write you read or listen that's the deal we strike
the bond we make
the risk we take...
Terror in a Quiet Room
I sit in the quiet room
and listen to the ticking of the clock
beating away the seconds of my heart
tick tock tick tock.
Such a quietly heavy sound.
Quiet as the grave that beckons
A death knell in each heartbeat
Each beat a microdot of the whole.
Suspend me from those Tarpian Heights
string out my entrails on the butchers block.
Pin me by my fingers to a wall of stone
beat me with a flagelette right to the bone
You could kill me in a thousand ways
but spare me please
from,
The tick tick tocking
the tick tock ticking
the tick tock tick tock ticking of the clock.
That'll Do You Mike
Ad hoc a shock like 'tricity in the vein
Wake up she said wake up wake up!
Fun in the city turns icy cold like winter's bite
Slow and unforgiving.
Where to now? Asked the Judge
Sitting in judgement on the poor
while the idle rich cavort and quaff deeply
from the trough of our making.
Yes where to now?
The Essence
The essence is naught if not essential,
It's scale from nought to eternity
is off the scale and beyond all reckoning,
I reckon.
2+2=72
which I approach
Trepidatiously
Is that EVEN a word?
No! It's all bumpy and often
mountainous with deep troughs and valleys.
'Deep in the shady sadness of a vale'
Who said that! Who?
And so on we go thus far
but no farther, father, who art in heaven
hallowed be thy scale from nought...
Seditiously libellous and defamatory
she said he'd said.
Enough to crack the egg of time
and suck out it's innards
Revealing ALL and Sunday at it's worst and best
and a little bit more besides, betides.
'Worse things happen at sea'
It's said, she said a lot.
Confessing all of a Sunday,
hoping for salvation from the hellish
flames that await, following
from what she's said he'd said.
The Gizzard of the Lizard
There's loads of it about y'know.
Loads
Wash loads shed loads barrow loads and shit loads.
So... God knows.
Whittards and Vizzards and slit the gizzard of the Lizard
On the window pane! Guillotined pain
Head to the bloc and nothing to stop the blood flow carnage of revenge and blame.
Booze and hooch and Novacaine
Alter my brain
I will go quietly Honest governor
Eeny meeny miny moe catch the buggers by the toes
and hold their feet to the fire fuckers !
We are suckers everyone.
Whose got the juice man? Whose got it?
I ain't got it. You got it?
I'm spent like Lent after the sugar rush Bobby Crush Jennifer Rush
Crush that lush. Just put the bottle down Man!
Entropy entropy the chaos will have an end of me and you and all of us.
The world has an order but it's not mine and it's not yours!
The ever narrowing band of normalcy stifling all and everyone
Watch them watch him watch me
He's not she's not they're not normal
Lock them up and throw away the key
Strait jacket chemical cosh
any difference bish bash bosh
The tyranny of consensus
Panoptically maintained
Look out Look out!
He's behind you!
You say what?
What you say?
Say, what was that you said?
Say what?
U huh.
So that's what you say.
MMM?
You say what you really mean to say.
Is that really what you meant to say?
U huh
You sure it's not a matter of
What you think you may have said.
Oh really!
In fact what you do say bears no relation to what's heard or what they
may say in reply to what they think they heard you say.
So what! You say. You still say what you say.
I hear you.
You know
Whatever you may say, or think you said,
Whatever rambling gush you spew
Whatever shit shoots from your flue
Actually I don't give a fuck for what you say or do